“If this is the case, then I’ll gladly call myself a sister of Sarah”!
These spontaneous words issued from my mouth during a lecture on Genesis 20 which I presented to an interdenominational women’s Bible study I was teaching in 1997. The opportunity to teach women from a variety of denominational settings, for a seven year period of time (1996-2003), was certainly one of the most memorable periods in my spiritual journey thus far. Although I worked hard every week during the class year (from September-May) to study and prepare a lecture that would be inspiring and practical, perhaps of all the thousands of words the women heard from me, the above statement made the most lasting impression.
In Genesis 20, Abraham and Sarah make a second journey to Egypt and Sarah is abducted by king Abimelech and brought into his harem. The incredible thing being that Sarah at this point is 90 years old. Obviously her physical beauty had not waned and she was attractive enough to be desired by a very powerful monarch. As I expounded on this scenario, I couldn’t help but let a bit of humor slip regarding the “youthful” 90 year old Sarah, and my desire to be just like her in this physical sense.
Unaccustomed to such spontaneity (for this study group was quite scholarly and serious) the women burst out in laughter and applause. Afterward, numerous members approached me with smiles on their faces and agreed that they desired to be “a sister of Sarah” too. These words were not quickly forgotten and for years afterward I would have women refer to me as “a sister of Sarah”, always with a wink and a smile and as a way to compliment and encourage me regarding my physical appearance as I reached and passed my 40th year during the time of teaching that study.
Yet in considering the concluding chapter of the book of Numbers this past week my attention was drawn to a very unique group of sisters, the daughters of Zelophehad. As the Children of Israel are preparing to enter the Promised Land, with the borders of the Land outlined and instructions regarding the Cities of Refuge given, a group of men from the tribe of Manasseh approach Moses regarding Zelophehad’s daughters. The men are concerned because the daughters will inherit their father’s portion of land (being that their father is deceased and had no sons as heirs, Numbers 27) but are yet unmarried. If any of the daughters were to marry a man from a tribe outside of Manasseh (their family tribe) then the portion of land that daughter acquired would become the property of the tribe of her husband. In this way, the tribe of Manasseh is threatened with the possibility of permanent loss of inheritance in Eretz Yisrael which could never be regained.
With this potential dilemma in mind, HaShem commands the daughters of Zelophehad by saying;
. . . “Let them be wives to whomever is good in their eyes, but only to the family of their father’s tribe shall they become wives.” (Numbers 36:6 Stone Chumash)
The sages recognize a discrepancy in this verse, for how can the daughters have the freedom to marry “whomever is good in their eyes” while yet being restricted to marry men from their father’s tribe of Manasseh. What if there were no worthy men within the familial tribe? Are the sisters then to remain unmarried?
For an “average” Israelite woman this question would be redundant for certainly among the available men of Manasseh a worthy match could be found. But the daughters of Zelophehad, as described in Midrash and Aggadah, were not your “average” women.
These sisters are considered by the commentators to be among the most righteous and wise women in the entire Torah for HaShem saw fit to use them as a vehicle through which a mitzvah was established. This most rare and unusual occurrence (of G-d’s revelation and mitzvah being given via someone other than Moses) is seen only one other time, in the establishment of Pesach Sheni (Numbers 9:6-14).
Bava Batra 119 b states;
“The daughters of Zelophehad were wise women, they were exegetes and they were virtuous.”
The sages understand their wisdom as the ability to speak “at the opportune time“. According to R. Samuel and R. Isaac, Moses was expounding on Levirate marriage when the daughters approached him in Numbers 27. It was at this time, when the importance of a male heir was being considered, that the daughters brought their claim to Moses; that they were “as good as sons” and deserving of their father’s inheritance of the Promised Land. If this were not the case, they reasoned, then Moses should allow their mother to be subject to the law of the Levirate marriage, in order to produce a male heir for their father.
Traditionally it is understood that the daughters were adult women approaching their middle years. Therefore their widowed mother would have been very elderly, if alive at all. A Levirate marriage to one of her husband’s brothers would have been in vain as Zelophehad’s widow would have been too elderly to conceive a male heir. Therefore the daughters understand that they, as the only children of Zelophehad, should be his rightful heirs. By bringing up their claim to Moses while his mind was focused on the topic of male heirs, these wise women spoke at the most opportune time.
The fact that they were exegetes is based on the wording of Numbers 27:5 in which “Moses brought their claim before HaShem“. The Ein Yaakov points out that the women brought their “judgment” (mishpatan literally “their law”) before G-d, which was much more than merely a personal request or a question. The daughters followed a line of reasoning based on Torah laws and principles to come to a proper decision. In this way their petition included a legal argument and its ruling. [1]
In the Torah scroll the word mishpatan of Numbers 27:6 is spelled with an oversized nun. Although there are various opinions regarding this, the numerical value of nun is 50 which alludes to the giving of the Torah on Sinai, traditionally understood to have occurred on Shavuot, 50 days after the Exodus. The rabbis understand that after leaving Egypt the Children of Israel progressed and “ascended” spiritually for the next 50 days until they merited the ability to hear the words of G-d from HaShem Himself. At this point, the nation was at its pinnacle spiritually.
In the same way, when describing the daughters’ claim regarding their right to inherit their father’s portion of Land, the Torah uses an oversized nun to emphasize the spiritual pinnacle they occupied at this time. For the judgment they came to was the very “word of G-d” itself although it had not been revealed to Moses or proclaimed through him. As Rashi explains the enlarged nun alludes to the fact that these women merited the privilege of “writing a section of the Torah”, [2] due to their ability for exegesis, and “seeing what the eyes of Moses did not see”. [3]
The virtue of these women is understood by the fact that “they were married to such men only that were worthy of them” (Bava Batra 119b). R. Eliezar b. Jacob elaborates that none of them, even the youngest, was married before the age of forty. This is understood from Numbers 36:6 which encompasses two admonitions. First, the daughters were to marry men whom they thought were the best or most worthy to be their husbands (whomever is good in their eyes).
Secondly, they were advised to marry from within their familial tribe. From this the sages understand that the sisters were not required to marry men from the tribe of Manasseh but rather that Scripture is suggesting this as good advice to them (Bava Batra 120a). The most important thing was for the sisters to marry men of equal or superior spiritual caliber to themselves. Otherwise, they would end up in frustrated and unfulfilling marriages where their gifts and abilities would not be realized to the fullest extent.
In the simplest sense the male role is one of giver while the female is receiver. “Barnyard logic” (i.e. simple anatomical differences between the two) speaks of this. Of course a man can receive and a woman can give, within various roles in a relationship. But in general the basic make-up of a man is most fulfilled in giving (his abilities, talents, personality, goals, visions etc.) to a woman who can take what he has to offer and can use those “raw materials” to the fullest, in a way that creates meaningful outcomes. This is best accomplished when a man is able to give to a woman in a way that challenges her to grow and excel (to be able to receive even more) and the woman is able to receive from a man and create outcomes that challenge him to provide and give back to a greater extent (grow and excel).
For women like the daughters of Zelophehad, who were wise and virtuous exegetes, women who not only discerned the correct content of a situation but also spoke forth their judgment at the right time, finding men who would be suitable “givers” to their “receiver” role in marriage would not be an easy task. This task would be even more limited in considering men from their familial tribe alone. Yet, based on the Talmudic understanding the sisters followed the advice of Scripture and waited to marry husbands who were suited to them, from their own tribe, which necessarily meant that none of them were married before the age of forty.
. . . . . . . . .
Although the thought of being alluring and beautiful at age ninety is certainly an appealing idea that any woman would desire to experience, I realize now that my “off the cuff” comment made in a lecture years ago, did a disservice to the spiritual greatness of the matriarch Sarah. For although this woman did maintain a physical beauty of miraculous longevity, being a true “sister of Sarah” would involve much more than mere physical attraction in the eyes of a man.
In teaching through the Pentateuch in the ladies Bible study of 1997, the daughters of Zelophehad barely received mention in lectures that I gave which included Numbers chapters 27 and 36. How easy it is to overlook their righteousness and wisdom. To see these daughters as helpless individuals who beg for Moses attention and mercy and later are commanded to marry men of their own tribe.
Women who fight for inheritance and land issues typically are not viewed as glamorous, and marrying within the family line is certainly not exciting. Being careful and diligent in discerning matters of Scripture and having the discipline to wait until the right moment to speak forth a judgment are not qualities that typically cause men to “show up” on one’s doorstep : ) Putting one’s social life on hold in order to follow the “suggestions of Scripture” does not evoke the attention or admiration of others. Yet, truth be told, after studying the sisters’ story from the lens of the Midrash and Aggadah this past week, I would consider it a tremendous honor to be called “a daughter of Zelophehad”.
Perhaps it requires a feminine perspective over the age of forty (and drawing ever closer to age 50) to recognize the profound spiritual beauty and attractiveness of these women . . . an attractiveness that far outlives and outweighs the advantages and attention of physical beauty alone.
[1] Ein Yaakov as cited in; Sarah Schneider, The Daughters of Zelophehad Speaks, available at: http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/2222/jewish/A-Daughter-of-Zelophehad-Speaks.htm
[2] Rashi as cited in; Menachem Persoff, Special Features for Parashat Pinchas, available at: http://www.ou.org/torah/tt/5762/pinchas62/specialfeatures.htm
[3] Rashi, Numbers 27:7
